Mathematical Proof

While trying to figure out what Crowe would wear (it turns out heavy armor wearers are pretty challenging), I worked out a mathematical proof for you enjoyment. I have proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that shoes are not monsters.

  1. Premise:  All shoes are monsters.
  2. Therefore, no shoe can exist that is a monster.
  3. Axiom: monsters were not made by Aboleths. (reference)
  4. shoes Clearly made by aboleths.
  5. Therefore, shoes are not monsters. QED

My 6-inch-healed-Numerian boots disagree, however.

These awesome (yet slightly sinister looking) shoes are from Iris van Herpen and Rem D Koolhaas. Like van Herpen’s previous appearance these are 3D printed.

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Evil Queen of Numeria

In the version of Numeria that has polyester and plastic available to Evil Queens, this is what the Evil Queen wears.

DitaVonTeeseinMichaelSchmidtbyAlbertSanchezYou are looking at exactly what you think you’re looking at: Dita von Teese in a mesh-like 3D printed dress. (Did you really think an Evil Queen of Numeria would choose polyester?)  It was designed by Michael Schmidt and Francis Bitonti  Here’s the press release, complete with more pictures.  Make sure to read the comments about the golden ratio.

Will There Be Polyester?

June is rapidly approaching and a goblin’s thoughts turn to Numeria.  The campaign setting book comes out next month. So, before I get spoilered, it’s time to start making ridiculous statements about what I expect for the Fashions of Numeria.

The official boards are full of question and speculations about the region.  Mostly about lightsabers. But so far, no one has asked the Most Important Question:  Will there be polyester?  Or its less important (ie: not Fashion related) parent question:  Will there be plastic? Logic would suggest, “yes”, because (here on Earth) it’s hard to imagine building a spaceship without knowing how to process petroleum.  The Shory were able to get cities airborne using magic, but I far as I know, those weren’t space faring.

ubiquitous jumpsuitAccording to all the documentaries I’ve seen (like 2001: A Space Odyssey, Forbidden Planet, and Galaxy Quest) the first thing space faring people need are sleek, polyester jumpsuits. Jumpsuits were “a thing” on the Runways in about 2010 (*shudder*), so there were plenty to choose from.  I looked at about 300 images (who said fashion blogging was easy?) of over 2000 to find the perfect one.  I was honestly, truly trying not to use another McQueen, but this jumpsuit (from his Fall 2004 Ready to Wear collection) is Retro-Futuristic perfection.

 

3dprint

This dress is from Iris van Herpen and has a really great dark futuristic look.  Also.  It’s 3D printed. So that’s awesome.

If polyester jumpsuits don’t convince you, here’s another reason to include  plastic in Golarion. It conjures up some fantastic mental images.  The Sandpoint goblins on Junk Beach… now picture them with making nets out of old six pack rings that washed up on the beach.