While trying to figure out what Crowe would wear (it turns out heavy armor wearers are pretty challenging), I worked out a mathematical proof for you enjoyment. I have proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that shoes are not monsters.
- Premise: All shoes are monsters.
- Therefore, no shoe can exist that is a monster.
- Axiom: monsters were not made by Aboleths. (reference)
- Clearly made by aboleths.
- Therefore, shoes are not monsters. QED
My 6-inch-healed-Numerian boots disagree, however.